


Home

by NaNaAnna



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Babies, Brave Park Seonghwa, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, I Tried, Inspired by their comeback trailer, M/M, Moving, Park Seonghwa is Whipped, Prepare some tissues, Romance, Sad, Sad Choi San, They are whipped, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:54:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25716880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaNaAnna/pseuds/NaNaAnna
Summary: San never got to know what a true home feels like which is caused by his constant moving. Only now he finally found a place that could be called his home.
Relationships: Choi San/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 8
Kudos: 60





	Home

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this immediately I saw the Ateez comeback trailer. San's POV got me in tears for whatever reason and I decided to go fully emo with this one.
> 
> I'm translating all of my work by myself and English is not my first language, so I'm sorry if there are any grammatical errors. I also write this at night usually so most of the time I've got no idea what I'm doing. This might be shiat. 
> 
> By the way, this is dedicated to my best friend Lucy, who is entirely whipped for both Seonghwa and San, love you, my babie. Thank you for not stealing Yunho from me! xxxxx

_Home_.

San could use this one little word to describe any place he’s ever stayed in for longer than a week but not a single one of them has made him experience the mix of emotions a true home makes a person feel. No place attachment, the feeling of melancholy, love or tenderness deep rooted in his veins everytime he looks at a part of another town he’s been growing up at. He doesn’t possess any photos of the time he was a little boy, the only proper record of anything happening in his life as dozens of boxes neatly tagged with everything they contain, his permanently opened luggage, carry-on bag hidden under his temporary bed, clothes always folded in a small wardrobe just so they can be quickly picked up and be ready for another journey.

San owned three student ID cards, three uniforms and three buildings in three different places could be called his school.

San felt sick.

It was like any other moving. Seventeen years old boy with black wavy hair stood in the middle of his room, hands on hips and a million thoughts running through his head. He tried not to take notice in the pillow case and bed sheets squeezed in the laundry basket, stripped white walls, the empty wooden table or a chair that has never stopped slowly spinning around. The only things occupying a simple closet were dust and a few clothes hangers for all of his shirts. A single window in the room seemed lonely without its velvet curtain that kept him a company until yesterday’s evening. Despite that there were two succulents on a windowsill letting everyone who’d stepped in know that this space still wasn’t fully ready for the boy’s departure. San glanced at the cracked road outside through the glass and had to squint his eyes as the sharp sunbeams found their way towards him. It was a day way too hot for moving houses. Even without the burning weather San already felt exhausted. He gazed upon small dust particles lazily floating in the air around the room and let out a quiet sigh. When will he finally stop saying goodbye?

There was much worse and more difficult moment waiting for San. He made sure of it when his last day of school approached. He walked through the open gate straight towards spacious ground with a bag thrown over his shoulder. He felt his shirt sticking to his back with one drop of sweat running down his temple. He ruffled his hair with a swift movement to get the fringe out of his forehead and looked around. He breathed in the heavy air and couldn’t resist the slight cough. The weather was unusually stuffy for the past month and San expected rain any hour now. Rain wasn’t coming, just like San’s hope that in the end he wouldn’t have to leave this early.

The boy knew, after all of his previous experiences, that he shouldn’t let his emotions be this easily swayed. With every moving he told himself over and over again that no, _this is not your home, don’t get attached_ , but that was impossible by now. Because San has already left a part of him here. And said part was currently looking at him over the grassy surface with a sad smile throwing a dark shadow upon his alluring face. He stood there, leaning on the wall and San sensed how the hands inside the pockets of his trousers were shaking, how much he tried to cover his pain with the casual posture, the same kind of pain that San was feeling his whole life. San stared at the ground because he couldn’t stand to look at what he’s caused by his leaving.

Seonghwa never stopped wearing the bracelet that San’s given him for his birthday.

“Your last day in this wonderful institution and you look like you’re about to attend a funeral,“ said the dark-haired, tall boy with a quiet laugh. He didn’t sound amused and his eyes didn’t shine like they usually did. San started to nervously play with the hem of his shirt. He couldn’t stop the tremor that completely seized his skinny fingers. Seonghwa gently took San’s hands in his and made the smaller one to look him right in the eyes.

“You’re leaving tomorrow, we’ve got the whole day to ourselves. Let’s make the most of it,“ he mumbled softly and attempted to tame a rebellious strand of San’s hair. The latter finally looked at Seonghwa and struggled to hold his tears inside. He nodded with the tiniest smile.

However, the second Seonghwa intertwined his fingers with San’s and started walking, San realized they‘re not heading to school. He turned around instead and walked across the grass towards the gate. San watched him in astonishment and followed him trying to keep up with his lanky boyfriend. “Where are we going?“ he asked confused, observing the surroundings. None of the students paid them attention.

“That’s a surprise. I’ve been planning this ever since you told me that you’re leaving. I have to show you something to be sure you’ll never forget me,“ Seonghwa explained in one breath and dragged San across a narrow pavement in a direction that led them out of the town.

“I don’t need a reminder, it’s impossible to forget you,“ whispered the petite boy. He wasn’t sure if Seonghwa heard him, even then he felt his pale cheeks burning.

They continued in the same pace for another hour. San had to admit he wasn’t feeling very comfortable. Spending time with Seonghwa was like a gift from heavens to him but due to the weather getting hotter each minute and his school uniform being completely drained in sweat by now he felt himself becoming more and more frustrated. The older one didn’t say a word about where they’re going and to be honest, San wasn’t sure if he wanted to know. He trusted his boyfriend and if he said it’s a surprise then he wasn’t going to pry. He rather tried to enjoy his time with someone who made his departure so agonizing. Seonghwa slowed down and wiped the sweat of his forehead while looking over his shoulder to smile brightly in San’s direction. The latter smiled back happily.

They carried on in silence, Seonghwa’s occasional humming or whistling being the only interference and San felt entirely happy for a moment again as if nothing bothered him in the first place.

The sun stood high in the skies by now and part of the brightness made its way through the trees they were both walking by. They were in an almost abandoned park in the town’s end followed by the chirping of birds and loud buzzing of crickets. San couldn’t remember ever hearing about this place. He cursed himself in his mind for being robbed of this beautiful shelter that would hide him from the world. For once he didn’t smell gasoline, tar nor the smoke. He didn’t have to listen to the never ending sound of cars honking, the noise that heavy machinery made or conversations of thousands of people. He perceived the aroma of trees, nature, fresh air, he listened to the _silence_. Silence and Seonghwa’s angel like voice.

He glanced at the boy who’s got him perplexed the second they met face to face on a school hallway. One gaze, one word and San knew that he’ll never be able to get this reserved, shy boy out of his mind. He couldn’t believe that out of all the people in the whole wide world he’s been lucky like this. He could shamelessly stare at Seonghwa’s distinctive features, sharp nose and full lips that belonged to him only. And just right now when the sunshine was breaking and created a bright halo around the tall boy’s head, only then San fully realized _what_ he’s been giving up on.

Great.

Nice try staying optimistic.

“We’re almost there,“ said Seonghwa quietly. The trees were creating bigger gaps between each other few steps ahead although San still couldn’t see what’s that behind them. An excited squeal left his lips. Everybody knew how much he loves surprises. Seonghwa chuckled and picked up a faster pace when San started to sprint in the direction Seonghwa was pointing at.

He conquered the smallest of hillocks and pushed aside a protruding branch. Dazzling light almost blinded him the minute he stepped outside the woods. He was forced to blink many times before he could get his vision back.

And then he saw it.

Complete view of the whole town. A place closest to what he could call his home laid before him like on the palm of his hand. Every roof, chimney, no nook was hidden from him like this. And San?

San couldn’t breathe.

“It would look a lot prettier during sunset, but I couldn’t wait that long,“ Seonghwa’s voice, filled with sweetness and understanding, spoke in a close distance behind San’s back. Two strong arms hugged him around his shoulders. The boy felt the strength leaving his legs. Everything became misty. He wasn’t able to hold back the tears finding their way out, down his pink cheeks. He bit his lip so no sound could leave his throat. But Seonghwa understood. He held him closer and with his chin leaning on the boy’s smaller shoulder gazed upon the town, the town where he met his other half.

Minutes passed by without a single word being spoken. Neither of them couldn’t say what they really wanted to, afraid they would spoil the magical atmosphere being shared between them. In the end it was Seonghwa who found enough courage to gently turn San around so he could face him. He felt sharp pain digging into his heart when he looked at him. San stood there in front of him, with tearful face, red puffy eyes and a small pout. He ran his thumb across his cheek just to catch as much of the salty water as possible. San let out a shaken sigh.

“I know you’re scared, just like me. You’re leaving early in the morning and in few hours you will be thousands of miles away. But look,“ he waved his hand around and smiled in the slightest, “it took only few steps so we could stand here, even if it could sound crazy to some. What I mean to say is that no matter what distance I had to overcome to see you again, I’d do it in a blink of an eye. I will run across the mountains and swim across the oceans. I love you, and I’ll repeat it over and over, the borders won’t stop me.“

That was a first time when San thought that maybe trusting someone so recklessly could be very foolish.

That night, San said his last goodbye to another home.

The day couldn’t be more different from the previous one. It seemed like even the skies were grieving. Massive ropes of rain were falling from clouds, some of them menacingly growled and the Sun hid entirely. Automobiles on the crowded road honked even more aggresively than ever before, and people looked irritated, exhausted instead of their usual content conversations. Even the big airport appeared grey and hostile, its staff scanned through luggages in boredom, throwing out anything they didn’t like.

San stepped into the bulding with a heavy suitcase gripped close to his shaking body. He held his phone in other hand, constantly buzzing with new messages. He didn’t want to response to any of them. He _couldn’t_. He looked around until he spotted a big board with departures written on it. When he found his destination without any delay or note of his flight being cancelled, his heart painfully skipped a beat. It was real. And he wasn’t ready. Seonghwa wanted to accompany him but that would only make things worse for San. He managed to make him stay home at the end. It was now time to meet his parents again who were already waiting for him, slowly growing impatient.

_We found perfect job opportunities._

_You will like it here._

_We found a beautiful flat._

_We’re sure you’ll make many new friends._

All these words and much more were constantly playing in his head turning his stomach upside down. He highly doubted that their job opportunities will be perfect enough for them to not change them for something else six months later. He doubted that he’d like the new place and he also had his doubts about the new flat being anywhere near _beautiful_. And he definitely didn’t want to make friends _again_.

None of the places where he could go now didn’t have Seonghwa, and that was a fact.

Another thunder followed right after San entered a long escalator. His face didn’t show any emotions. He wasn’t really sure if he’ll ever be able to feel anything again. The unceasing destruction of his hope for a content, happy life crushed him more and more as the days went by. Why couldn’t he just stand up to his parents once? Didn’t they see how much was their son hurting? And why is he still so silent about it? _Yes, ma, yes, pa_. San had to show them somehow that while they’re trying to seek perfect career opportunities, _he_ just tried to find a place he could call home.

He noticed, through the glass roof above him, a tiny blue spot in the sky. Could it be that the weather learned how to read his mind? Is it a hint that maybe he’s heading the right way?

Did he have to take off?

He looked at his phone screen. He’s got twenty minutes.

One phone call.

San gasped. He turned on his heels and made a dart up the escalator with the biggest steps he could manage. His happiness can’t last this shortly. He ran through the terminal back to the exit, the people around him watching him in shock, cursing him when he accidentaly knocked over their lugagge and children pointing their fingers at him. But San had only one purpose. He found himself standing in the hall in front of the entrance.

And there he stood, casually leaning on the wall with bright smile and happy eyes.

_Home_.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and please, continue to support our boys! They need to get as many wins as they can. 
> 
> ATEEZ FIGHTING!


End file.
